i just moved all the furniture in my parents room to the other side so when they come home from work they’ll be so confused. april fools day i guess.

sometimes i replay stuff ive done or said in my head and i literally physically cringe at how awkward it was

you know when things start to go right and then you mess them up because you’re too awkward? thats my life

It only took 200 times yelling “ITS NOT A DATE” to my dad but i think he finally realized im just friend with the kid…

I’m the wish Carly Rae Jepsen threw into the well. 

Seeing Ed Sheeran tonight. I could die of happiness. In fact I think I just might.

ok guys so im going on vacation for the next week to the bahamas and i wont have internet or anything.

be an asshole and unfollow me if you want, im not setting a queue or leaving my blog with someone because ive realized tumblr isnt for all the nubs who unfollow because you’re inactive for a week living your life in the real world and not on the internet.

so dueces everyone! have an amazing week and ill see you next saturday.

- giving sponge baths to the elderly 

- moisturizing padma lakshmi

- counting the number of water molecules in a bathtub

- finding two identical snowflakes

- going for a swim in the bermuda triangle

- weaving a basket underwater

- peeling every potato currently inhabiting idaho

I puked all over myself last night. Completely sober. In front of my friends. At a fair. In public. Fucking YOLO.